How a Couple Can Embrace Wedding Planning and Keeping Their Sanity
Keep your eye on the prize here, folks. There will be times when this journey makes total sense and everything is falling into place. There will be times that you don’t understand why it matters what shade of ivory the table linens are. Keep in mind nobody ever said that this would be fun... or easy… or make any sense... It ’tis what it ’tis lad!
This Too Shall Pass…
There will be many of times when no truer words have ever been spoken. At first you’ll both hit the ground running with planning and thoughts, eventually planning will become a grind. Get as much accomplished when you have the momentum (The Big ‘Mo!)! This will set you up for success and how you'll keep your sanity.
Tackle the Core Four Early…
- Guest List
This is the foundation of what everything else for the big day will be built on and it all starts with your budget. Understand what you and your bride-to-be can afford and what family members can chip in. This is applicable from couples who have $500 and go to the courthouse and then to Uncle Buck’s backyard, to the couples who have $30k in the bank. Just have proper expectations right from the start.
Now that you know how much you can afford time to put on paper who you want to be present for your day. Start with your family and inner circle and then work your way through.
You’re going to get hit with the domino effect. “Well if I invite Pam from work then I HAVE to invite Sussie and Sally!” -- STOP IT! Don’t let this happen!
Ask yourself: “Self, is this someone who I would ask to go to dinner with on a Saturday night?” or “Self, have I even talked to them in the past 6 months?” If your answer is No then don’t feel obliged to invite them. Venue’s charge per person, so each person is crucial to your budget.
Oh, and giving a plus one? We advise you to be insanely stingy. Unless a guest is in a committed relationship and you’ve met their other half do not hand these out. If you give your 2nd cousin a plus one he will bring a chick he just met who doesn’t eat the food you paid for, drinks all the booze you did paid for and sleeps with a member of the band. All because you felt like you needed to make your 2nd cousin happy… don’t make this mistake. It is your day!
We will get more into this in future posts but this is a grind. Every conversation you have will be the exact same. Sadly, most wedding planner / venue coordinators don’t really care all that much about you. They know if you aren’t interested the next couple who comes through the door will be, nature of the industry.
Something we see a lot of people missing here is finding a venue where the coordinator is someone that you’ll actually want to work with. This is an important part due to the fact that this person is the orchestra leader for your day. Make sure they understand exactly what you’re looking for, judge their responses and how long it takes them to reply to emails.
The unresponsive coordinators are showing their true colors early on. If you can’t get them to answer an email in a time that you’re comfortable with, it will be brutal dealing with them in crunch time.
Band vs. DJ, there is no wrong answer, there is only what you can afford. If you’ve got friends who are in a band together (and are actually good, perhaps an airband?) that is a great way to cost costs. If you’re partying in Uncle Buck’s backyard make a killer playlist on spotify and save the money altogether. Just know that you need to do something here.
A band is more expensive, but can get the energy really going while the DJ can play anything. Depends on your taste of music and what kind of party you’re trying to throw. If thinking about a band go and see them play! Contact the band and let them know, they’ll take care of you. If looking for a DJ ask past friends who they went to and what they paid. Either way explore and feel confident in your decision, one less thing to worry about.
Broke Grooms Advice: Tackle the Core Four early and get this foundation set up. Believe us, all the little details that you’ll stress about (table linens, if your mother’s dress will clash, if people really want the salmon) are details that nobody else will remember / care about.
Also, please make sure you and your bride-to-be aren't projecting a play-by-play of how the process is going on social media. All you'll be doing is alienating the people who are looking forward to your day. With 7 months to go nobody cares that you picked out your table linens. NOBODY. Take advice from our friend Christen and use social media wisely.
Keep the main thing the main thing, and don't let the small stuff get to you. Do this and the stress will never get to you.
If you haven't checked out our other blogs feel free to here, and below is a free one-pager on the Top 5 Things to Expect After You Get Engaged. Check it out! Cheers!